Self love isn’t just the internet’s hottest new trend; it’s here to stay, baby! More and more people are waking up to the fact that we’re absolutely allowed to be in love with ourselves. We’re learning how to fill our own cups and find the best ways to care for our own hearts. It’s a damn beautiful thing to watch unfold. But finding your own version of self love can present itself as an intimidating, impossible endeavor. After years of doing the exact opposite, who can blame you for having a rough transition on the road to self love? Old habits die hard, as the tired old phrase goes.
I’m no expert on self love. Just another soul working hard to find my greatest source of love from within. And that work has been grueling. It’s not all bubble baths and face masks. Self love is also poised discipline; it’s about leaving behind tendencies that no longer serve you. And although I’m not perfect, I am beyond proud of the person I’ve grown into today. Yes, I falter; of course I have bad days. But I’m better than I was last year and I’m miles away from the girl I was the year before that. So I thought I’d compile a list of some of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my on going journey with self love. Maybe one of them will inspire you on your own journey.
- Don’t worry about what they’re doing over there. Focus on you. We all grow at our own pace. The worst thing you can do is play the who’s doing better than me today game. You’re on a path all your own. The more you envy the path next to yours, the more neglected and degraded yours becomes. Take your time. You’ll get where you’re going in your own time if you keep trekking forward!
- Be real with yourself. When you’re in the wrong, own it. See what I mean about how brutal self love can be? The first step to improving your life is identifying where you need some work. It can be really tough calling yourself out but it is an absolute must. These rough spots aren’t anything to be ashamed of; we’ve all got ’em! See these areas as a place to grow from.
- Sometimes it really is as simple as a face mask and tea. Take time to recharge however that looks to you. Life is meant to be lived; it’s a mosaic of all those sweet moments that make you go “ahh”. So make time for that yoga class, cook that meal you’ve had pinned for years but never tried. Fill the gaps in your day with the little things that make your heart sing. And above all else, don’t let people shame you for how your self love manifests.
- Find people to keep you accountable, ditch the ones that drag you in the wrong direction. The famed speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This is certainly not a hard and fast rule but it has some truth to it. If you’re around negative, unmotivated people, odds are you’ll start to see those qualities creep into your life. Self love takes a lot of energy and it is made even harder when surrounded by people satisfied with their own misery. But when you have a rockstar line up of beautiful people in your life, self love is so much easier to foster.
- Take breaks from social media and often. We live in an age of information overload. When we log on to social media, we get a constant stream of “perfect people”, heavy news stories and a maddening amount of ignorance. This is not to say that everything online is toxic. Definitely not. There’s plenty of inspiration, beauty and top-shelf memes to be found as well! But you still have to sift through the muck to get there. So take some time to off. I promise it’ll be there just as you left it when you decide to return.
- Never stop learning. If you read my first blog post, you probably know how important this is to me. There should never come a point in your life when you sit back and think, “Welp, I’ve done it. I’ve learned it all.” So pick up a new hobby. Find a book on a subject you know nothing about. Your brain is a muscle and it needs its exercise too!
- Find your form of mindfulness. To be mindful is to be fully immersed in the moment. Many find this through yoga or meditation. I love this avenue but I know it’s not for everyone. Fret not though, my loves! There are plenty of ways to achieve mindfulness! You could practice breathing techniques, go for a walk, sing along with your favorite song, laugh with your best friend, anything that gets you fully in the moment. All we ever really have is this moment right here and now. Make sure to soak that in every once in a while.
- Don’t let anyone tell you what the best way to love yourself is. I know I just spent a whole blog going on about ways to do it, but this isn’t a one size fits all kinda situation. Maybe my first seven tips will resonate with you. I hope so! But you’ll find your own ways to love yourself. It could be self expression through fashion or perhaps starting a new blog (😉). Whatever it may be, don’t let anyone diminish it! I see people online poking fun at self care a lot. But so what if a face mask and cup of tea makes you feel good? It’s nobody’s business but your own. So find what brings you joy. Live abundantly. You’ll thank yourself for it.